My first step, my first speech

I am an appalling public speaker. Not only with the public with strangers but also with my friends that known me for years. When eyes are watching me, I get freak out. And by natural force, my voice become softer and softer and softer and cease. I'm so afraid to be heard. The ideas in my mind refuse to come out because I am afraid when people are seriously listening to me. 

To conquer my fear of speaking, I joined the toastmasters club. Yes, I learn to toast bread so I can have my very own Kopitiam.. yummy... No no no no...Toastmasters is where I can learn to improve on my communication and public speaking skills. I went for the club meeting for less than 5 times up till now.  At my fourth attendance, I finally gather my guts to give my very first speech, the ice breaker. It was beginner and easy assignment as I just have to talk about myself. 

My speech title is "Life is like a pack of Skittles". Why Skittles? Because it content colourful and a variety of fruity flavoured candies. When you open up the package and pick your candy, you never know what colour and flavour you're getting. That's my life for you to know. The message at the end of speech was simple, have faith in your dream because you never know when it might turn up. Like a pack of Skittles, enjoy every bites of opportunity in your life. When the door knock, answer it. Dream should not always remain a dream.

All that counts

Listen, right now...

1. If you do not GO after what you want, you'll never have it
2. If you do not ASK, the answer will always be no
3. If you do not MOVE forward, you will always be in the same place.

Also, don't be limited to your own comfort zone, step outside of it and break free. Sometimes you hear voices in your head telling you that you can't but it doesn't have to control you or keep you down.

Oh ya... I made baked egg today. Have you try one before? This my first time cooking baked egg and it was really random. An egg, butter, salt, pepper and some herbs. It didn't taste bad at all.

8 hours in Malacca

One of our random plan, drive down to Malacca to catch a movie (our free tickets only applicable outside of Klang Valley). Where else is better than the historical town. I love the building and culture left off by the Portuguese and the Dutch.

I enjoy my company who don't complain about the heat while walking under the burning sun. Or the sudden rain in the middle of the day. Everything was simply positive and enjoyable :D

My 101 List

If it was not because of a gentle reminder from my dear friend Justo, hailing all the way from Honduras, I would have forgotten about this blog. I miss you buddy!!!

I just started working in the corporate world early this month since my graduation. To be very honest, I feel a huge chunk missing in my life. Feeling deeply empty in my heart. I didn't know what was gone. Every single day, without fail while taking the LRT (or the subway) I keep thinking " what is it, where is it, how should I do about it, why is it so". As I am trying to find answers to all these endless, baseless questions, loneliness and depression are beginning to tap on my shoulder. NO, I can't feel sad for myself. I want to be alive. Listen, I have to shrug depression away because I don't want to leave any space within my heart for it. I afraid that it would eat me up. Before that could happen, I made a list. As I write them down one by one, I begin to feel alive again. Then I realised that what have been missing all these while is FUN. There is no foundation of fun for the past few months, NADA... I was too serious and harsh on myself. Yes, before this I was pressured because I have the impression that I could not meet the expectation the society impose on me. Couldn't find a good job, with a good pay, buy a house, get a car, plan for early retirement and blah blah blah... For now, I don't want to discuss about that kind of list. The list that I want to share here sounds like this:

• Run a marathon
• Read a book in a day
• Do something artsy and crafty every Sunday for 2 months continuously
• Eat 7 things I've never tried before
• Cook 5 things I've never cooked before
• Make a photo book with my favourite pictures
• Make a scrapbook of places I've been before in Europe
• Get a facial appointment
• Try manicure and pedicure
• Go to a live musical show
• Stop talking for 10 minutes while the live band is playing in the bar
• Buy a new mattress
• Visit 5 more countries (0/5)
• Go to New York
• Bake a cake
• Read 10 biographies/ non-fiction books (0/10)
• Plant a rosemary
• Buy a new smartphone
• Compliment at a person a day
• Give at least 10 speeches
• Blog once a week (1/45)
• Make a teddy bear out of felt
• Sing out loud

So far, that is all that I could think of. I will think for more while I have to be committed to ACTUALLY do them.

Nothing...

I hate the feeling when you have no emotions. You are neither happy nor sad. Simply feeling empty inside. You are nothing. When your head is spinning really hard, but you can't feel anything.

Have courage

You know, I am happy that my Dad is my Dad. He is the best father in the whole world. In my world of course. To this day, now, I am 23 and he haven't really scold or yell at me before. Whenever I make any mistake, he would always smile and says 'it's okay'. Take this evening for example, I tried to make double chocolate chips cookies, while mixing the dough, I broke the wooden spoon. And he said it's alright and use a new spoon. Then, I stop a minute and flash back. I realized that this is not the first time. My Dad has been very patience and nice to me ever since I was a little girl. He taught me that it is okay to fail, make mistake, be silly, be embarrassed and angry at myself. But, you must be able to stand up again after falling. To have the courage to try again, or start over and believe that the world is not at the end yet.

One day, I want to go New York :)

Hello there?

I have not been writing here for a very long time. Well, it is not very long, just 6 months with a few spider webs covering the page.

Geee....Reading back the previous posts. I was so happy back then. Where is that girl? Hello...Knock knock. Please come back.

Many times I ask myself, am I truly happy?

Hello Sheffield

I was so blessed to have great friends who drove me from Manchester to Sheffield.

The entire road trip was scenic where I wish the journey could be longer :)

Moved into my temporary residence hall. You have no idea how many times I went into the office to make complaints. Problems with the Internet, noise pollution, broken microwave... Eventually, I just don't bother anymore. At least the room is clean and new-looking.

This is my favourite spot to have lunch or simply to hang out :)

Let's hope for the best in this green city :)

Cheers.

Being a tourist in Manchester

Welcome to Manchester.

Weather here is as crazy as what I experienced in America. This place is cloudy, gloomy, rainy, dull and wet.

We did a lot of walking here since you won't even sweat after walking miles and miles. Unlike in KL.


We walked from Old Straford Stadium to the city. Which is about 3.5 KM. Did I mentioned in the rain??

The next day after arriving in Manchester, I was standing in front of the Man United players.
Marcus the tour guide and Melinda my tour partner.

I love every architectures here :) Pictures turned out really nice no matter how what.



I think I just found my version of dream home.

On sunny day, we just sit outside, tanning. We compared our skin complexion with Steven's. I would kill to be as fair as he is.
One of my favourite views here.

I am going to Sheffield in 2 days time and I couldn't wait for my college buddies to be here.

Safe trip everybody.

Manchester! Here I come.

Uniquely weird

Wern Hwei is clingy.
I am a drama queen.
I don't know since when we started calling each other that.
No matter how weird she is, I still love to share my thoughts with her.
Thanks for listening.

lalala~~~ it's summer

I met up with Jasmine, Jason and SK yesterday. They brought back some air from St. Cloud and it was so nostalgic. When I got back to my room, I walked down the memory lane, remembering who I met and what I did there. I sure had lots of great time there. =D On top of that, I just got to know there is a new Malaysian UGRADer that will be heading to St. Cloud State University this fall. To be honest, I am glad and happy but envious at the same time. I hope Amy would create lots of valuable experience there.

Jasmine brought something back for me and I am really excited. Thanks Jasmine!! I am really embarrassed as the package is so bulky.

Voila! I think I have enough supply for the summer.

And yay!!! a new digital camera. After months and months, thinking and wanting, I got one finally.

Thanks Babe!

Cheers.

monotonous

Woke up a little too early today. I didn't get up immmediately, wrapping myself comfortably in my comforter like a springroll and think. I have many thoughts everyday. Along with that, I was reflecting about what I've been doing until now.

"Monotonous". That's what I thought of. Dull and lack of variety.

Haha.. my god... can somebody give me some coloring.