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I found a quote that I really love today. " If there is tomorrow when we're not together..there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i will always be with you." By Winnie The Pooh. Don't you just love that bear.

Well, this blog is really something long lost forgotten. I was avoiding it but there is no place that I can hide from it. I am back to my real KL life. Sometimes, I wake up feeling a little confused and frustrated. Nothing scares me more than my own future. That's my secret. I no longer know what I am doing anymore.

There are too many changes that I have to deal with lately and I pressed the ignore button too many times. Every undone to-do things just accummulated and it makes me feel incredibly angry with myself for not accomplishing them. The truth is, I don't really like the state of now. I don't know why I don't have the joy of doing things that I used to do anymore. No more manga, looking for food, clubbing, yum cha, shopping and so on. Yes, I miss the old me and I just can't find that girl anymore. I laugh and smile but I feel they are fake. Something change inside of me but I don't know what. That's right, these are making me lost. How could somebody don't understand himself/herself like I do. Strange.

So, school is going to start in October. My lovely brother keep asking me to look for job. I have a job as freelancer but he wanted me to do something normal and better. The types where you are suppose to be in the office, Monday to Friday, from 9am till 5pm. Many times, while working over the weekends, I just thought to myself that I really need to get some valuable experience. Doing more freelance jobs makes me feel so stupid because those are no-brainer and unchallenging. Fuck the money. I decided to try to get any low paying internship. Honestly, I don't know which company would wanna hire me. Let's send out more application tomorrow. Not janji kosong.

I have to make this blog alive again.